Are you single and not dating anyone? Do you rarely date?
You're not alone. Many singles who want to be in a committed relationship tend to date very rarely or not at all. And they can't really be blamed. After all, how do you date if you have trouble finding people to date? How do you date if you can't find someone compatible? How do you date when those who you like are not interested in you? How do you date if you are never asked out? Sound familiar?
When I coach singles who complain about a lack of dating opportunities, I suggest online and local dating services and singles events. Single adults comprise 50 percent of the general population, and many businesses cater to this strong market. Because of this, nearly every city has opportunities for singles to meet for dating and fun. Look through your phone book, your local newspaper, and the Internet for information on singles events. Some of the local venues are sure to have the type of people who would love to date you and who you would love to date.
When I make a suggestion to singles to work on dating more, I am usually met with resistance. People who are willing to invest hundreds of hours in their business or fitness become unwilling to invest the time and effort required for the thing they value most -- love.
The first reason singles usually list when explaining why they resist participating in singles-oriented events is that it takes time and money. After all, finding a person to date is time-intensive and dating services can be expensive. However, I'm sure you'll admit that when you want something badly, having enough money and time cease to be issues.
With a little more prodding, singles usually admit they feel there is a stigma associated with the singles scene. They may feel that participating in singles-oriented activities is like admitting there is something wrong with them, admitting a certain desperation and loneliness.
Further, singles tend to believe their true love will simply show up in their lives when the time is right. Therefore, they feel that actively pursuing a mate is either an admission that something is wrong or a waste of time.
Fortunately there is no longer a stigma associated with participating in the singles scene. Our society has accepted the fact that busy singles have limited time in which to meet possible relationship partners. Going to singles events makes you smart and sociable, rather then signaling there is something wrong with you. To use a dating service locally or on the Internet shows you are selective and open to a relationship rather than desperate.
It's important to recognize that the partner of your dreams won't just show up at your doorstep one day. You may not even meet him or her while dating. He or she will show up when you have a great life and when being single stops being a complaint. Having a full dating schedule will go a long way to help this.
If you are not currently dating, your relationship muscle is out of shape. First you need to learn to date, to attract and feel comfortable with the opposite sex. Then you will be ready to attract "the one," enjoy the fulfillment that comes with having true love, and stop being single.
Ready to get out there? Go here for ideas.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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This article (c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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