Getting Your Sex Appeal Back
Dear Philippa:
My girlfriends were sitting around New Years Eve talking about the
guys they’d like to sleep with this year. I didn’t have much to say
because it’s been so long since an attractive guy was interested in
me. My friends say I’m just in slump and that things will change this
year. How can I turn things around and attract an exciting guy?
—Tamara, Baltimore, MD
Dear Tamara,
Ah yes, the old dating slump—I call it the dating desert. We all go
through it—believe me. The main thing for you to remember is that the
dating slump is just that—a temporary stage you’re going through.
All you have to do to change it is change your mindset.
There are several ways to jumpstart your more positive self. Some
people would suggest that you get a new look, change your hair color, or
buy a new wardrobe so you feel better about the image you’re
projecting. I say if those changes make you feel better, go for
it. But don’t feel you have to change yourself to get the kind
of attention you deserve.
A change may be necessary, but it may just be a change of
environment. When I was in a slump I used to go away somewhere that I
knew my ego would get a boost. Getting away also lets you take on a new
persona—to be the kind of new you more freely. A friend of mine goes
to Italy every couple of years when she wants the attention of men who
find her womanliness more appealing. When she comes back she says she is
"strutting her stuff" and men in her hometown are attracted to
her like you wouldn’t believe. Maybe your ego boost can happen at a
weekend away at a retreat where you reawaken your sensual self,
luxuriating in a hot tub, getting massages, communing with nature, and
maybe meeting some very interesting men.
If physically getting away isn’t in the cards right now, then you
should understand that your mind cannot distinguish between imagination
and reality. You can reawaken your sensuality without having met anyone
new.
Have a date with your imagination. Start painting pictures in your
mind of how it feels to have the attention of a very attractive man. You
don’t need to see his face. Just concentrate on the emotions, the
laughter, and the happy feelings. You may have to pretend at first, but
soon you will start acting like this man is already in your life. When
you walk down the street, imagine that you are going to meet him and
project that excitement. When you are in a safe, social situation, smile
and make eye contact—act more daring, knowing this great man is at
home waiting for you. You may have to pretend at first. But, after a
while you will start believing this is possible because it is.
Meanwhile, the vibes you give out will make you a magnet. Because
nothing is more appealing than a confidant alive woman who acts like she
already has her man.
—Philippa
Philippa Courtney
